Why I Wanted My Daughter To Learn How To Fail

The real magic of life blossoms in failure

Photo by Zohre Nemati on Unsplash

To say my daughter was frustrated was putting it mildly.

She was finally at the magical adult age of 18 and life was just not falling into place.

• She still did not know what she wanted to do.
• Had no idea how to move out and manage on her own.
• Was fighting constantly with her dad who kept telling her she had to move out if she could not follow his rules.
• Worst of all had a crippling anxiety about disappointing those around her.

“I don’t want to do anything that I will fail at,” she moaned.

“Why?” I queried. “Failing is how you get better at doing things.”

“I just don’t want to disappoint anyone. I can’t get my head around that.”

I did not press the point.

At her age, I had lived a fairly sheltered life. Surrounded by the cocoon of family, my basic needs were met. I had a job but did not have to depend on myself to solely manage living expenses.

From family to marriage, the saga continued. Living and directing my own life was not a skill I had to develop until much later in life.