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30-DAY WRITING CHALLENGE / 23 SEPTEMBER 2022
What I Saw When I Looked In The Mirror
How I learned to love myself
I never liked looking at myself in a mirror. For as long as I can remember, a mirror was only to provide objective information about my outward appearance. It let me know if my hair needed styling or if my outfit matched. Any other information was quickly buried as soon as I turned away.
It is difficult to admit what I see in a mirror. I want to label the emotions that bubble up as shame, embarrassment, ugly, disappointment, and failure. The flaws and flab I see flashed neon before me. Harsh as those emotions are, I have kept them as constant companions growing up. My outer facade looked good but inside was an alternate story.
Sadly, I had a tough time loving myself. Constantly surrounded by the glaring comparisons of what the world called beautiful often left me unapologetically hating myself. I did not grow up in the “body positive” movement. I did not look like them. I will never look like them. I was destined to be rejected and lonely forever.
This I firmly believed. The funny thing about what you believe is that you will always find supporting evidence. I believed I could never measure up, so every negative experience conspired to prove me right. It…
