Member-only story
The lies we tell ourself
How to edit your life story
The Human race is an emotional race. No matter how much we would like to believe that we are driven by logic, when we dig a little deeper, emotional pain is usually at the root. With the exception of a few personality disorders that breed those who cannot feel or understand emotion, the rest of us evolved because of emotion. Emotions, or in this case, the emotions we attach to a story or memory, will decide how decisions are made in the future.
This was an Ah-ha moment for me. I believed I was just shy, insecure and unloveable. I was unlucky in love because of my weight, personality and looks. I am boring, dull, uninteresting and cannot carry a conversation. All these beliefs, I saw as truths about myself and I had convinced myself that is just the way I was born and just the way it is.
With beliefs like these, I spent a lot of my years growing up afraid of interaction with others. Stronger personalities scared me and conflict was a dirty word. I saw myself as weak, easily intimidated and preferred to hide away alone that risk meeting people. I evolved into a people-pleaser. I did not like myself, so I desperately needed others to like me even when I knew it was fake or I was just being used.
Emotion was always in charge even as a baby. Early studies on attachment and babies…
