Goodbye victim, hello life

How I stopped playing the victim and jumpstarted my life

For as far back as I can remember, I was a people-pleaser. I did all the changing for others to “like” me. I wanted them happy even if it meant I was not. I was a permanent guest at my personal pity party and feared judgment from others so I stayed hidden at home and from life. I dreamt of being part of a girl group that partied and hung out or could date cute guys. In my mind, I was never good enough, pretty enough, thin enough, interesting enough. I hated to feel rejected so books and television were my closest friends. I began rejecting myself before others could reject me. Remember “fat” Amy from the movie Pitch Perfect. I was a big girl too and hid behind making fun of myself before others could so they would not see how hurt I was.

I had a good up-bringing but because I was such an introvert, no one really knew the hurt and pain I was running from. I was a people-pleaser and others mattered more than me. Unfortunately, as I grew up, this mentality did not get any better and it took a brain injury to finally wake me up. I did not know it at the time, but I was living in victim mode long before I understood the concept. It is my hope to save others from living a long drawn out life in victim mode.

We are becoming a society of terminology. You would be hard pressed today not to find so many word diagnoses being thrown around today. Everything is on the table, from anger issues, victim mode, enabler, depression…